Thursday, 17 January 2008

Aunty's secret tips for loving

Aunty today gives you good tip on how to keep your man happy boy.

Do not argue with me. I KNOW THIS trick sure work one.

Don't think I bluff. You can ask Aunty's friends if Uncle has even looked at other sources of less healthy entertainment from China or Vietnam all these years. Your Aunty do this every night so she KNOWS.

Picture this & you follow.

Always ALWAYS greet your man in a little dress (chiffon ok) under which you wear those panties got the holes cut out from the middle of the important parts.

Some got the hearts cut out, some got micky mouse ears, ALL got the bright bright sequins. Aunty also got see the ones with the chicken feathers stuck on.

Make sure make up also on, & wear 7 inches stilletto heels plse.

Now practise this.

While holding a glass of his favourite brew in your manicured hands, & scented jasmine in your long hair (get hair extention also can), purr sounds of love into his ears.

Next, lick & nibble his ears - do not laugh. See? This is why IMPORTANT IMPORTANT - you must practise. Use dog to practise. They like the lick2 nibble2 also.

Now while your man is distracted, lead him to dinner table. Slowllyyy, now put morsels into his mouth. You can give him keropok, satay or your leftover lunch. At this point, it does not matter anymore what he eats.

Next, smear his mouth with satay sauce* & you lick it off - not like quick quick like that; like cat like that....sllll......uuuurrrrpppp!

(got it?)

*Aunty got see the "9 1/2 weeks" movie also you know? (myself not living in the taman negara). So I know the kwailos they like chocolate sauce or whipped cream. But Aunty here thinks that one overrated, expensive and fattening. Somemore satay not taste so good with chocolate.

You say you all got the MIL, Matta, Fatta, kids at home? NO PROBLEMO.

You & Uncle eat in your bedroom ALONE, or you not shy shy type? GOOD. You can do this in front of family. Kids can learn something useful.

So now you see this one the secret tip why your Uncle no go out play play. (Also big help Uncle scared little bro no life long live). Got my drift?

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