SOLLY ALL FANS!! Aunty here kept quiet for so long & got the many peeples ask "Why Aunty have you been keeping quiet ?
Just so you know. I was not sick. I was not slacking off. And no..I was most certainly NOT working!! I was just busy being World's Numbah One Aunty. Kay poh here, kaypoh there. VERY busy!
So what Aunty things have I been doing??
Not to scare you but...
#1 - Trying to stream & watch korean soap opera from my so-called broadband (HAHAHA!)
#2. Taking many calls from very important people (tuperware people, amway people, avon people),
#3. Organizing chinese new year dinner for 2, organizing valentine dinner for 2
There you are. You see? You think so easy being Aunty meh?
You all try 1 day and see how you can cope with all the action of being World's Numbah One Aunty before open mouth and talk talk talk ok?
Also busy because Aunty & Uncle got take the holiday to seaside.
That one ah? Haiyoh! You should see how HOT Aunty look in swimsuit! 1 side got stripe, other side 1 color only. Uncle very VERY much appreciate Aunty's economy; buy 1 get 2 swimsuit approach.
Aunty also got "pant pant pant" alot; but not because your dirty mind is hyperactive panting hor? The "aiyoh, aiyoh, HOT HOT, must eat icekacang, damn hot weather" panting hor?
Some of the things I learn as I age are :
- No need to wear sexy sexy anymore. WHATEVER an Aunty wears, ain't nobody got notice you. Hair coming out of armpit, pubic, belly, eyebrows, moustache etc..NOBODY looks at any woman over 50 anymore unless your boobs are hanging out & the Imam is on the next dck chair.
So Ladies >50, save yr $$$$ and don't bother shaving, waxing or putting on makeup anymore.
- If any Aunty wants to drown, my personal advice is to please drown very very softly. I dun know why but when svelte young ladies whisper "ouch ouch" because sand too hot, got 10,000 men rush to carry her to safety.
But when Aunty here genuinely in pain YELLING "HELP HELP HELP" (got big BIG insect bite the buttocks mah), not 1 man turn his head, except your Uncle. He turned his head around to tell me "shuddup" cause I was disturbing his siesta.
So now you ask..why bother even trying anymore to look attractive? That one simple answer. You try to be more attractive so as not to scare your Uncle when he wakes up next to you. You try to be more attractive so as not to make your kids/relatives shy to walk next to you. That is all.
Got Elaine asking me "So what did you do for Valentine hah?"
I tell you what we did.
Same as every year for the past 24 years. NOTHING! And therein lies the best part of being in a partnership. You ain't expect nothin', you ain't get nothin' !!
Happy Valentine to All Uncles and Aunties out there
I know, I know. We ain't so shallow that we need something to validate our love, but it sure would be NICE to be surprised someday!!
Make mine as hot looking as the gardener from Desperate Housewives please!