Monday, 28 December 2009

Of Antares, Friendship & the Rights of the Immediate Family

What a F**ked up world man!
I never thought I would be blogging about the Rights of an Immediate Family but after reading the attacks on the daughters of blogger Antares (Kit Leee) who is critically ill with Malaria by some of his friends, I just feel like screaming "ENOUGH"

I don't know Antares nor his family & friends but I know this.

A story where well meaning friends wants to step in for their ill friend, or wants to be included in decisions for the care of a friend is a story repeated several times a minute in the world everywhere.

Even more when moneys involved. Look at the case of the late Brooke Astor & her son & grandsons & friends.
Unless there is reason to suspect a friend is deliberately being deprived of the best option of the best care, friends should really not step in to intervene.

There are family matters & there ARE family matters. Unless you as the friend is footing the medical bill or is landed with caring for the patient. Even when one does end up caring for someone else who has a family & the family's buggered off, but when the family steps back in, one has to learn to zip it up.

In the end, someone like Antares has a family and they are the only ones who are entitled to an opinion or a briefing from the doctors on the best course of action to treat him.

Whatever the doctors have to say, for sure, his current wife too should be allowed the same access to this briefing, so that she too can have a say in the best course of action for her husband's treatment.

And if she is not worldly nor knowledgeable (as are most of us regular joes) & she wants his friends to help out, then she should have to be physically present to tell the first family of her wishes.

I really don't know what the world is coming to when friends rock up (yes it's a long way to go, yes you are concerned for his well being, yes you have other experienced medical doctors with you) expecting the family to cater to your expectations. Don't you guys think that's a whole lot of expectations?

So what if Antares' kids let you hear the doctor out. Then what? Would you then expect that the family defer to you for an unasked-for opinion?

And What if they don't ask you for your opinion? Then would you be angry you were not accorded any due respect?

Come ON man! In a crisis, whether it's a family or the army, someone has to take over.

The only diff is the leadership style. A leader can unite or rile but when the leader says that's the way it goes, then the followers (who must have given tacit agreement to appoint this leader) has to LET GO & Follow!

On top of this, the family of Antare - according to some accusations - were not there 24/7 when he was in ICU critically ill. SO WHAT?

You can have yr own set of rules for filial piety & others can have theirs too. Who's to say who's right or who's wrong?

I just don't get it. Why do well meaning friends & families impose their own set of expectations on to that of another person or family?

To me, the important thing is NOT the feelings of friends but that of the family & the patient. I am sure all of us wish the patient well to a speedy recovery & that the family NOT be stressed more than they already are.

NOW. That would be being a good friend.

Sunday, 27 December 2009

And what a Feast it's been!

Dear Santa in North Pole,
Turkeys & Legs of Lamb sitting in my Belly, Underarms, & Butt
& Pudding doused in Brandy

Our Turkey who art in Heaven
Tasty be thy Name
Thy Meat be Done
Our pants be undone

To say we missed our neighbour's party due to a technical problem is an understatement. We are still thinking of a nice way to say "We didn't turn up because we were really too HAPPY & wiped out somewhere else to move our Arse". That would be kamikaze neighbour style.

Yess. We had the Most Lovely Lundin yesterday. Yeah. Lundins. A Lunch which turns into Dinner. They're much better than Brunches. Ask my belly.

First off. Uncle & I want to Thank Christine Who washed up copious amounts of pots & pans in preparing the feast & to Rory who cooked a "passable" Lundin. The Turkey, Lamb & Potatoes wasn't too shabby.

Not too shabby? In Aunty Speak this translated from "Don't give me too much. I can't finish these 6 slices of turkey on my plate" into "What do you mean the turkey's finished? I only had a tiny sliver!"

What's the big deal you say? Well. No morsel of Turkey has passed these angelic lips for the past 25 years. Not since I have had to eat that sucker for a year every day in USA when I was on a tight budget & race to finish my degree sooner. I had kept to that vow until yesterday. And now no damn turkey's safe from me.

We also want to give a special big Mwahhh to Laura who became Uncle's Bestest Gal yesterday. He just loves them well brought up young ladies. Besides pouring the drinkies, Laura made sure her Da's & Uncle Bear's cups were never empty. Have I mentioned she was pouring the drinkies non-stop like a well-trained host on a 1st class flight?

We were so sated from our Lundin last night that about the only activity I could muster was to change into my draw string pants & collapse into my la-z-boy. Uncle showered & changed into his Sports Teeshirt to go to bed.

Sports Tee shirt? Yes. He was THAT gone he thought it would be a lovely time to go hit some golf balls last night. Who am I to piss on his parade?

Tuesday, 22 December 2009

For Auld Acquaintance be..

In recalling 2009, I can only say that, despite the big personal storms which tossed us around, we have learnt, in retrospect, that the sun does shine brighter after a storm.

Storm 1: My sister Shirley died in June after a short illness. Her passing came as a big shock to us, in particular her children & grandchildren. In life we could have been better friends to each other but we weren't.

The sun in my life now is that every time I interact with her grandkids, I see the good that was my sister shining through in the children she had loved so much.

Storm 2: The 1st quarter of this year seemed like an eternity in Madagascar while the 2rd to 3rd quarter was waiting to exhale.
Ofcourse you now know that at the height of Madagascar's troubles, we were caught there in limbo, rumors, gun fire & intimidation.

I lost much sleep & some weight worrying over our safety & yet not being able to leave due to Uncle's sense of duty to his staff. Yes. You heard right. He stayed from a sense of duty to his staff & not his bosses.

And we were lucky we left Madagascar when we did because had we left earlier as per our scheduled trip, we would surely have gone back & then been caught in the mud & murkyness of an unlawful coupe d'etat.

But that was not my sun shining through.

My sun shining through is to see my husband of 22 years come through the ordeal so well despite losing his job at this stage of our life.

He's trim, fit, healthy & optimistic. He's quit smoking after 30years, drinks very occasionally & takes pride in gardening; a skill neither of us knew he had.

He wants to work again, but is not unhappy he has time to smell the roses. He even takes time to chat with me, a luxury for a double-career couple who thought chatting was reserved only for when we had to face each other when we were on holiday.

Now he knows I am a TV addict & media whore, & I know he doesn't necessarily turn off the taps after washing his hands or screw back the cover off the Coffee Jar.

And NO, I wouldn't exchange Uncle for all the screwed jars in a supermarket.

Happy Xmas to 1 & All!!

Thursday, 17 December 2009

Bloggers Ethics

It's not that I am MIA...I am BUSY!
X'mas has that effect on me, and it seems - on millions of women around the world too.

If there is 1 thing the world can do for us mothers & wives is - instead of declaring only 1 measly day as "Mother's Day", it would be to get rid of all festivals so that us women folks can take a breather.

I mean, when was the last time you saw a Daddy clean the house, take out the decor, decorate, shop & cook for the entire kit & kaboodle for 1 whole month & then again undo all that AFTER the festive season? say it's worth it just to see the lovely happy smiles on the family's face? You there. You must be a bloke!

Awww.. just Forgive me plse. I am just too numb & cranky from yet another round of shopping today. But that isn't going to stop me when something JUMPS out at me in the media. With my last shopping breath, l just have to get this out.

THIS time, its that issue over "blogger ethics".

Just read today that some numbskull here in World Class Land is recommending "strongly" that bloggers should adhere to "ethics".

I dunno about you lot living in "highly developed" countries, but seems like you lot just ain't as highly developed as we are here.

Yeah! We've got ethics for bloggers to follow. What ethics? Where is it written? Who wrotteth it? And from a country who's actually fallen a few notches on the corruption index? HUGE LOL (laugh out loud lah!)

Blogger ethics? In my mind these 2 words are an F**king oxymoron. If I were paid to blog, then - and only a tiny bit MAYBE THEN, I may follow these invisible ethics.

But if you, like me (& the 99% of all bloggers out here) are basically blogging to express yourself or to let some steam out, then what's the point in blogging if we needed to adhere to ethics? Out here in bloggerland, it's Reader Beware.
Don't like my point of view? Fcuking click away then.

Or does our Power on High mean "ethics" like not exposing, mentioning or criticising the vast amount of injustice, corruption, apartheid, sexism & rot in our fair land?

Oh! WAIT! I get it now.

You mean if we are controlled, sorry. I mean if we "adhered to ethics", ie then we wouldn't be saying things are happening, and so there is no corruption, racism etc happening here?

Sure. And I was the 15th woman Tiger Woods had an affair with too.

Tuesday, 1 December 2009

Meanwhile on a World Class Banana Island

And now for what's happening on our world-class Banana Island. Yes. I have to conclude we live on a remote island.

Take this example where something so noble & worthwhile known as NATIONAL CIVICS BUREAU is not what we think it is.

The name should immediately clue you into its raison d'etre. In short, it is supposed to raise the civic conscience of our Nation; ie provide CIVICS classes. Or is it?

Yes. You were like me. You thought that the National part in its name "National Civics Bureau" implies that they are to do this all over our great land, OF & ON all the fair people who inhabits this land, for ALL the people to benefit.

As we now know. WRONG! Now we know the NCB is a misnomer for what the Bureau does.

And if not for all those damn busybodies blogging about this, then our very own NATIONAL CIVICS BUREAU will NOT need to reflect the presence of other races in their courses.

But now, unfortunately, due to the uncomfortable expose of all you busybodies, the wonderful courses must be revamped.

My question is:
What if no other races participated in attending these courses? Then, would the HUGE mistake/overlook in the courses of the NATIONAL CIVICS BUREAU be reported?

And on which remote island in the middle of the Antartic is the NATIONAL CIVICS BUREAU's office of Malaysia located that they didn't know about the presence of "other" races?

The last I checked we have far more than 3 or 4 races. And this situation has since......FOREVER.

I must hand it to the Government though. They did quite a remarkably fast turnaround to address this issue.
This morning in the NST front page, our Minister to PM's Dept, Nazri said:

"The courses conducted by the bureau are very good and it is only that the curriculum needs to be revamped"

I am now totally confused. Nazri seems to say that the Subjects (or courses) conducted are good, but only that the group of subjects (curriculum) are bad. Aunty speak now, are we saying that the cempadaks' good but the tree's bad? Or the seeds are good but the fruit's bad?

I still don't get what Nazri said. Can someone please help un-confuse me?

Just in case you thought I BS-ed you on the definitions check the below out from Cambridge Dictionary online:

curriculum (noun)
/kəˈrɪk.jʊ.ləm/ n [C] (plural curricula or curriculums)
the group of subjects studied in a school, college, etc.
the school curriculum

course (noun) (CLASSES)
/kɔːs//kɔːrs/ n
[C] a set of classes or a plan of study on a particular subject, usually resulting in an examination or qualification

Monday, 30 November 2009


Hello Saudara2, Friends, Fiends et all !!
This is a call to everyone who would like to support the Anak Bangsa Malaysia Iniative.
And a chance for all you who feel & think that All Men are indeed created Equal & not 2rd Best..Please EMAIL or SMS attendance (see below) to Farida NOW!
I also heartily invite all you Aunty Lover, Aunty Bashers & whogivesashitaboutAunties to show up cause oh yeah Baby! I shall be there for sure!
There will be AUCTION (?) & sales of tees - Bring $$$$$ !!! :)
I copied & pasted the info below from Haris Ibrahim's Peoples parliament blog for you !
In conjunction with the United Nations’ declaration that 2009 is The International Year of Reconciliation with “Unity in Diversity” as the theme, the Saya Anak Bangsa Malaysia initiative will be holding a forum at
Rumah Anak Bangsa Malaysia,
66 Lorong Setiabistari 1 , Bukit Damansara, Kuala Lumpur,
on Saturday 5th December, 2009 from 2.00pm to 6.00pm.

Uplifting the way of life of the marginalized and reconciling them with mainstream society is essential in order for all to be free and equal.

Resolving human conflicts, working towards reconciliation and restoring peace and harmony would bring about a better Malaysia for one and all.

The event will address these issues and the programme will include a talk, field trip reports, a narration by FoodNotBombs on how the homeless are helped, and a screening of “The Imam and The Pastor” with accompanying discussion by members of Nur Damai.

Please RSVP by 1st Dec 09 (Tuesday).Email –

Farida – 016-2095 818
Hasbee – 017-332 5424
Rumah Anak Bangsa Malaysia – 03-2095 0435

Sunday, 29 November 2009

Is Mastering a Foreign Language equivalent to selling out your own?

For today, and only today, I will not speak "Aunty-speak".

When I do the Aunty-speak, some of you do the Aunty-bash, so today, allow me to do the Malaysiana patois with you

(Obviously this blog is in response to those who believe that speaking ONLY our national language in a government department is equivalent to being truly patriotic while speaking English will mean you are unpatriotic)

I have only this to say to orang2 macam tu - "GROW UP!"

What is the matter with us?
Isn't it terrific to know more languages than only one?

Isn't it terrific to be able to communicate with 1.5 billion people in the world than with let's say, 0.8billion (including Indonesians)?

What is exactly wrong with using a language which will enable us to gain more knowledge & expertise?

Yes. There is good & bad in knowledge, but that matter is a matter of maturity where one learns to discern & discard the bad from the good.

Which will give us more benefit than harm?

Using the world's most spoken language in a government department?
Choosing to use either one or the other?
Or a mix of everything, as we are wont to do?

Why must some feel that mastering a foreign language (English in this case) is like a bow to our history of colonialism (don't bash me over the head with that one; ain't nothing I can do about History folks).

Is speaking English (or Mandarin) a sign of being unpatriotic?

Come On!
Surely we lucky Malaysians can always use a Win/Win strategy in such a trivial matter?

Why not use any of 1 of the official languages we have? Isn't English one of them?

And does knowing a bit of one language & a bit of another putting us in a "neither here nor there" situation? I'll like to think that our speciality in speaking abit of everything marks us as Global survivors because who knows when & where knowing a little of something won't come in useful one day?

So get a life.

Start learning & mastering & practising any language you like.

Even if it's Hindi. 1 billion people in the world can't be that wrong!

Sunday, 22 November 2009

What is wrong with some of our Bananas?

I am a great fan of what Bananas from Banana Republics say.

And seeing as our very own Beautiful MALAYSIA produces some of the world's best bananas, you can please draw your own conclusions.

Zorro Unmasked reports that a certain Deputy Minister (of Education no less!) has said that speaking English in the workplace is "weird" and harmful to the nation's culture and identity.

That statement in itself is Wonderfully Weird & Awfully Harmful.

I really don't know what are the criteria for picking ministers, diplomats or candidates to critical government positions but I hope our dear Government / Leaders will consider only appointing those with the following 3 Basic qualities:

1. That candidates should have (highly recommended here) a use-able & service-able Brain so that they may reflect a little on what they are going to say BEFORE they say it.

2. That candidates should have the Confidence to embrace & accept the Different, the Weird & the Strange, because if one were to turn the mirror around...?? Or does that conflict with the 1Malaysian concept?

3. That candidates be able to, competently Speak, Read & Write English, if not also Mandarin, Hindi & French.

Or isn't it trueI that more people in the world speaks these languages than ....Sadly & alas!..Bahasa Malaysia or Bahasa Indonesia?

Ofcourse some may say I am one of those who feel that even a fart from a white man smells better than perfume emanating from a local.

But I don't think so sirree.

I think that I am only one of the hundred of millions in this world who think that the ability to speak a foreign language well does not diminish one's love for one's country, race, religion or culture.

And definitely speaking a foreign language well certainly does not make one a better (or worst) person than the next.

So Mr Git-an-Education-y'self, please take a jump outta that well. It's time you left that round sky behind you!

Thursday, 19 November 2009

Aunty should learn to dress up when going shopping

I never learn.

I should learn by now that I MUST dress up & drive a Mercedes when I go shopping. Especially for expensive items.

Unfortunately I am the type of person who does the opposite just to test drive the customer service.

And this is what I've learnt.

Poor Shop Assistants can actually Talk you OUT OF A SALE even when you are panting to buy.

Take Case 1 as an example. Yesterday I was so hot to buy a La-z-Boy or a nice leather recliner chair, that I was burning up with fever.

After hearing a radio commercial about La-z-Boys being on sale at Harvey Norman's, I rushed immediately over to the nearest HN shop at Mid Valley.

I was such a willing buyer you wouldn't have to sweet talk me for too long. This is because owning a La-Z-Boy is up there on my list of "Things to Have before 2012 comes around"

And La-z-Boy chairs aren't that cheap. Not for me anyways. They are priced from the hi-end of Rm2000+ to Rm6000+.

However, in the 30mins I was at HN's, I actually walked off empty handed.

Firstly, when I walked in, there were 3 boisterous kids bouncing like crazy on them La-Z-Boys - without any one of the 3 Sales assistants near them stopping them from damaging the merchandise.

And these kids weren't bouncing for a minute, they were off the walls for 10 mins, with Daddy looking on fondly.

The SA only stopped these kids from bouncing when he tried to sell me the display sets at 20% discount. I asked him if he would be happy to spend his own few thousands to buy chairs which were abused like that?

He did say I could wait up to 4 months (no telling when he says!) for new stocks but I will have to pay 20% down first.

Did I wonder why Harvey Norman would be advertising stocks they didn't seem to have?

Did I really want to pay 20% off regular price for display chairs which had been bounced on from time immemorial? Or wait for who knows how long?

No. I didn't. I walked off & went in search of another store.

This one's located in a bungalow advertising recliner sofas & chairs on the main road of Section 16, PJ on the way to the Sprint. The parking is in front of the Shop so everyone can see the type of car you came in.

This Sales Assistant (or Proprietor?) took the cake for Worst Sales Man of the year.

First he chatted for 10 mins on the handphone while I looked-see. His chairs were definitely Not La-z-Boys but they were much cheaper. However since my heart was set on a la-z-boy, I needed someone to sell me the benefits of these La-Z-Boys lookalike.

I was asking him some questions when another lady rocked up.
She looked well heeled & was well dressed driving a Honda CRV. Sorry I didn't mention this before but yes. I am in a Myvi with my AhSoh tees & pants.

Ms Well-Dressed joined in my conversation with the Sales Assistant & asked if leather chair can be hot to sit in. Aunty piped in & told her she could always place a cotton sheet over it to overcome that problem, as I do.

But Mr SA immediately said to me
"What leather furniture do you have? What type of leather? Cow? Cow leather is never hot. We have 47 years of experience & we know this!"

I still didn't get it. I answered I have 2 sets of leather furniture, & even the Stressless from Norway is not cool COOL unless you have your air cond on.

He then asked me more aggressively now"What is stressless? I have never heard of Stressless"

I really don't mean to boast but you can google Stressless Furniture yourself.

On top of this, Mr.SA did not know that in Aunty's past existence she has been a purveyor of some of the highest end leather products & boy! Does she know her leather!

Even when we plonked down the money for our Stressless set in those days, Uncle made me promise NEVER to give it away because it was so costly, we literally ate noodles for a year.

And it's really galling for someone not to know from whence I come to knock me down in front of another stranger. Too much for my ego to take. I took a hike. Ms Well-Dressed also took a hike. Obviously she didn't like his tone with me either.

Today HALLELUJAH! I succeeded in buying my La-z-Boy in Bangsar from a really nice bungalow shop nearly facing Bangsar Shopping Centre. They had a full range. They had Stocks.

They had a lovely Sales Person who didn't care that I rocked up in a Myvi. And Yes. I bought the top of the range of the single seater.

Another time I will relate the story about a top jeweller in Singapore when Aunty brought along her backpack & was wearing running shoes.

SIGH. This was in the days when Aunty equated love with the size of a diamond. In a moment of madness Uncle promised to buy me a top grade rock which will cover my finger - to compensate for all the years he's bought me zip diamonds.

You don't see me wearing the diamond?

This is because I still need to learn that I must dress up and drive an expensive car so that I can be taken seriously when I want to walk in to a really expensive shop.

Tuesday, 17 November 2009

And the Buck Stops THERE!

You all know awreddy that the closest Aunty will ever come to Managing anything is the Running of the house & ensuring that the flow of K-dramas are non-stop.

Managing companies just ain't my forte.
OK. Let's face it. Not much is my forte.

But I have heard it said that the Most Basic Principle in Management & Leadership 101 is:
When YOU are the Boss, no matter what your staff does, the Buck Stops at Your Door.

Or isn't that what learning Management & Leadership's about?
How to effectively ensure that everything runs like a well oiled machine; no matter where (or who) the clog you are, & what/who screws you.

However here we seem to take a different spin to this Basic Principle.

Take for example what our Great Dear Leader Dr M said yesterday about Anwar's poor performance in managing our economy during the economic crisis in the '90s

So. Who was Boss at the time Anwar was Finance Minister before he was removed from office for misbehavin'?

Well, Dear Great Leader says that Selangor will go bust by appointing a man who destroyed our country's economy as Adviser.

I agree with DGL on that.

But one has to ask some embarassing but pertinent questions before we award Anwar that lone Honor.

How is it that Boss knew nothing? Is the Malaysian economy or the Finance Ministry a Sole Proprietorship or a Sendirian Berhad?

Isn't Malaysia a COUNTRY with hundreds of thousands of employees & just as many top Bosses?

Unless we're saying nobody was managing the shop at that time?
Unless we're saying there's no check & balance to stop abuses?
Unless we're saying Only ONE person's responsible for screwing up the Entire Economy?
So where does the Buck Stop??

Did someone just mentioned that we are a country with 53 years of managing ourselves?

And before you throw that Brickbat at me.
I state categorically again.
I am definitely NOT an AI fan nor supporter. But Fair is Fair or What?

Monday, 16 November 2009

Aunty MIA ??

I have been MIA because
I have been
a) f**king lazy
b) minding other ppl's biz but my own
c) Uncle hijacked my computer as his was being repaired
d) Korean soaps have kidnapped my brains

e) I am not talking to myself as much as before so the Schizo medication must be working
f) I have been waiting on tether hooks for a supposed roofing leak repair expert to show up in vain
g) All of the above

I HATE to tell you that the answer is (g) when I coulda just LIED & said I was out doing a lotta charity work & saving the world while working on my hot bod.

The only part of my bod that's being worked on is the beard on my upper lip & the bushy brow I am attempting to sculpt into that of a seductress.

Which is another story. So let's just stick to that.

And yesterday I had a chuckle.
Read a double page ad placed by Petronas of errant scholarship students who had not repaid their loans. I couldn't believe my eyes that out of 121 names (or 112?) listed, 24 had no IC numbers to their names but Passport numbers.

Eh? How does that happen? I thought only Malaysians get those scholarships, and then ALWAYS as part of any application, one's supposed to state an IC number?

I mean my experience here as a law abiding citizen is that we must at the very least submit a copy of our IC together with gazillion pieces of paper to prove we are who we say we are.

Macam ni, no wonder I aint rushing to buy any Msian GIC stocks.

Who the shithead was it who granted those loans to ppl without IC?
Don't tell me those are foreigners? Can't be since the passport numbers are like yours & mine; ie starts with an "A". Mind you some even appeared without an "A" and one with just a coupla numbers as ID.

Let me just count the potential $$ down the toilet of those unrecoverable scholarship loans granted to ppl without IC.

24 x rgt30,000 = Rgt720,000 or Euro 144,000.

OK. That's like a drop in the Petronas ocean or in the KL city council budget.

I mean what's that compared to the dumbass florist bill of Rgt32.4 million (thirty two million??) for 3 years supply of flowers recently cancelled by KL City mayor that was highlighted here

Oh. Have I (like our policians) said "we are world class" yet?
We sure are "world class in anything we do, especially when it comes to throwing money down the toilet

Sunday, 11 October 2009

The new MCA lineup

I am chuffed to learn that some folks took to heart that salted fish should not be resuscitated.

And by the way, my photo came from Niamah (Patrick Teo)'s posting of a new comedy show prophetically named MACC, premiering Oct 17. About a bunch of chinamen politicans & their party I bet!

Now I dunno if Pat Teoh is psychic-aler than Aunty here or maybe because he has better guppies at crystal balling than my dead ones? But accurate & timely can you get man?!

Now. What does the no-confidence vote in Ong's leadership portends for us ordinary folks?

And what does the restore-membership-to HumsupChua but deny him his VP-ness mean?

Speaking from my (well-fed/watered) gut I feel today's fiasco shows the real deep rifts & frustrations in the Malaysian Chinese Association about their political direction.

No shit!? Did I not tell you I am psychic?

AND it shows it is about brudy time that Malaysia should stop having only Chinese or Indian or any race centric parties anymore.

Am I bothered that MCA have no heads or that MIC is split about 3-ways down the middle? Do I sound bothered?

Had there been no other alternative parties, then maybe I am gonna think "AIYOH! Who is gonna speak up for me anymore?"

But this ain't 1960 and its been a damn long time since MCA has been speaking up for anyone other than themselves.

In fact, if they had fallen into a hole, I couldn't be bothered. And I don't think I am alone. Look at the last elections & the whoppin' they got.

If they are still deluding themselves into thinking that they are representing the Chinese here, I've got news for all dem boys & gals in MCA.

Honey. Just drive your Benzes, & live in your Mcmansions & leave us folks alone!

Thursday, 8 October 2009

Resuscitating the Salted Fish

Gawd knows why October always turns out to be so eventful.

If not for the dreaded historical black October (stock market), then this October saw all those recent devastating disasters, & now here in Bolehland, the deluge of critical decisions to be made this weekend. And we are only into the 2rd week of October!

This weekend is particularly exciting for me. It looks like the by-election in Bagan Pinang & the 2 EGMs may be a case of resuscitating a salted fish. As we all know, before we salt dem fish, they are dead as dead can be. So resuscitating them is a tall order.

But all I am asking for is that the salted fish stay nice & salted before I goreng it to eat with my porridge.
And really. Is it worth bringing back the dead in most cases?
Whether its Bagan Pinang's by-election or the EGM for MCA & my alumni.

On BP, my bet is not on the ISAlted fish. Reason: People ain't as duh as we look that we don't know by now, that infrastructure & donations only magically appear within a few weeks of an election.

As for MCA, again my nyet is on Chua (another Salted fish)

I can't for the life of me see how anyone can defend a serial adulterer (yes yes Chua's very efficient but then so was Bill) in leading a community.
Chua's stalwart defenders & he - for that matter - do not seem to mind alienating the votes (already precious few) of us Aunties.
I hate to remind you Dear Dr Chua, how much power us Aunties have in this world.

We may not shout that out (unlike some wives of VVIPs) but in our own way, we ARE the hand rocking the cradle, dear!

As for my alumni's EGM. Another case of some salted fish trying to come back for some quarters.
Too many poor decisions, & a certain lack of accountabilty made for stupid politiking.
I just don't know why salted fish can't just stay salted. Don't they know there's no other way for them to come back to life?

Wednesday, 7 October 2009

Is ASTRO having Malaysians on?

A small beep in the ocean to speak out against programming on Astro, our not-cheap-monopoly satelite tv in Bolehland.

I used to watch satelite or cable from Singapore, then Australia & finally South Africa REGULARLY.
As some of you know, this was as recent as March this year.

Since I have returned to KL full time, I have NOT bothered to watch Astro regularly. I only did so recently because my guppies unfortunately did not survive my crystal ball reading exercise, & because I am a little tired of a diet of only Korean soaps.
But it looks like Astro is recycling everything I used to watch from years ago. This is like "twilight zone" to me because some programs are way, WAY old!

My latest example is NBC's "The Biggest Loser" that's now on, which is from the 2006 release. That is on Primetime (ie 7 to 10pm ok?). The winner lost weight & put back weight awreddy leh!
OK. You are saying "Aunty that is caused by time diff between Malaysia & India etc"

I catch programs as my life evolves; ie anywhere from 10am - 3am! All the programs are in a loop lah! I watch BBCE, AXN etc. So I KNOW.

Programs I have watched in under-developed countries are too new to be seen here. What a paradox!

Ofcourse you are saying, "Aunty. You get what you pay".

Ok. I take that. But did you know that in the equivalent currency (ie you use US$1 in USA the same as you use S$1 in Singapore as you use Rgt1 in M'sia etc) - I am paying the "same" rate?

No wonder some people think we are backwards.
The programs we watch are old & recycled.
The politicians we have are old & recycled.
The rhetorics? SHEESH!

I can't help but wonder why ONLY in Bolehland it is that we keep hearing the words "world class" in everything we do.

If Astro TV is an example of our "world class"-ness, then we are indeed the proverbial "katak dibawa tempurung" or "frog in a well"
And if we keep voting back in all the kataks?
Well! I guess we just deserve our tempurung ain't it?

Tuesday, 6 October 2009

Do what I say but not as I do

I know I know.

For all of us responsible elders & seniors of our families & societies - trying to teach good values, morals & judgements to our next generation, the "Do what I say & as I Do" bit is always a tough call.

As time goes by, (with me it takes no time at all) this call becomes "Do what I say & NOT as I do" It just ain't natural to not be yourself for too long.

Take a certain VVIP yesterday speaking to his party faithfuls at the Bagan Pinang by elections for instance.

He was warning ppl against using race politics.

I agree with him.

We, the average Aunties & Uncles of this world don't like race, color, gender or religion politics.

In extensive chatting over many cups of kopi-o, I know us average Paks & Maks are MUCH more tolerant, and peace loving than any politician out there.

To top it off.


This is the same guy who didn't walk his own a really memorable, memorialized speech - in order (sez he) to preserve his identity (which is part Arab) whilst waving something really pointy & sharp.

I was googling the word "waving the keris" & the search popped out over 32,000 references to it & all towards that one VVIP.

Moral of the Story: Don't Preach Bro, when you can't follow your own Sermons

Sunday, 4 October 2009

Auny's crystal ball reading on the Bagan Penang Results

Aunty is much more talented than you think.

I am psychic.. and have been for more years than I have been alive.
I used to read tea leaves & coffee cups until tea bags & instant coffee was invented.

But today I decided to pick up again on a latent talent I hardly use. This is because when I use it, 188% of the time, I am right. Ask Unc. He will tell you I am always right.

Which is why I picked up my "crystal ball" this morning for a read.

Yeap. You guessed it. It was also time the guppies had their bowl cleaned anyways.

Makes it as good a time as any for Aunty to read into the future to predict the Bagan Penang by-elections in a week's time.

Hah? Why didn't I go with the Blue Team to PD?
Main pressing reasons being my (very) aged mum's maid was fired for dishonesty - resulting in me being on standby duties PLUS my old school's oga drew me to help in some urgent biz; from Sept until after Oct 10!

OK. Don't interrupt my interactive crystal ball gazing for a few moments will you?

Q: Who will win the BP by-elections; ISA or NOT ISA?




OK. Here it is.

ISA NOT. 188% sure.

WHY? Aiyoh...hurry up with the Q&As will ya? The guppies need to go home lah!


I see some letters forming.....






I believe it says "People are smarter than u think" (note to self: teach guppies & bowl to spell)

Yeap. That's all for this crystal ball reading today.
Tomorrow I tell you the results of the European Cup Finals 2 years ago, & what I will be having for dinner

Which reminds me of the famous saying attributed to Abe Lincoln

"You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time."

Thursday, 1 October 2009

Earthquake scares the bejessusouttame!

Absolutely Floored!
Freaked OUT!
My heart goes out to all the people in Padang & Samoa. (Note to self: Donate to Padang disaster victims!)

NO. I hadn't the faintest of idea there was one last evening. Did you??

I only woke up to the news that earth movements resulting from the Padang Sumatra quake had people evacuating from buildings not 2 minutes from us here in Kay El

This should be 6-16pm or 1816hrs local time.
What was I doing? Eating my favorite fried chicken from Village Park Nasilemak while watching yet another series on TV. If ever there was a last favorite meal...that would be one.

I don't know if I should feel happy or guilty. Like millions here I didn't even feel so much as a blip. That's a benefit of living on terra firma instead of in a hi-rise. None of my family felt anything either or they woulda called. And they too live on landed houses. Our house had not even suffered a hair line crack.

A quick call to friends this morning revealed that not even those living in buildings with 50 floors (near KLCC) felt anything either. But then I am talking to those who live on the much lower end of the 50 storey thingies.

I dunno if there are any "favorite ways to die" but a big "NOT" of mine is
- to face a 9 meters wall of water (in Samoa). Picture a 3-storey building of water?
- face a stream of fire (volcano eruption).

In a weird way I feel there is a better survival chance if one were to face an earth quake - STAND IN A DOOR FRAME or under a sturdy dining table made of solid wood. Ikea tables do not count.

I feel I have some earth quake experience - like more than I can count on 1 hand.

This was in California for the 3 years when I studied there (little earthmovements but definitely NOT pleasant!), in Africa (bigger movements but much more pleasant seeing as there were no big or high buildings near us anywhere) & about 15 years ago in Hong Kong (of all places!) with a big movement for a few seconds when I was on the 12th floor thinking I had ate something bad at lunch causing me to retch.

Yes. Earthquakes causes one to wanna throw up.

And what does one run out with in an earthquake? YES. The babies, the old folks AND the notebook computer (me!)

Forget the passport, handbag, keys!

That and the dogs. In Africa our 3 dogs were not small. Ended up with Mummy - in a superhuman effort - scooping ALL 3 weighing a total of 30kgs with a swoop. Broke my friggin' back doin' that & scared the lives out of them. Ain't never gonna do that again.

This brings me back to disasters.
A few weeks ago while contemplating our navels in Lombok, Uncle & I were discusing "what if that Mount Rajani volcano behind us decide to erupt?" Running for the mountains is not an option. Really far inland plus the mountain is where the volcano is!

Running to the ocean also bad - unless you can swim kilometers away. There was No answer.

So all I can say is I pray PRAY & PRAY that there will not be a big one - as some dumbass seismologists are predicting. Because if there is, I sure want Uncle with me, and a bowl of ice kacang. That would be my last favorite meal. And my most fav person in the world.

Tuesday, 29 September 2009

Holy cow!

"Holycow!" was my fav cool swear word in my youth. Loved it when my superhero (was it Batman or Robin?) used that word but dropped that word - & I thought forever - when I learnt other choic-ier words. In French.

But here we are. 45 yrs later & holycow's back in fashion. I totally agree with Shanghaifish. The cowherds illegally using the field where their cows were buried by the garbage landfill accident is now LEGALLY demanding for the Selangor government to pay them.

Excuse me? If we were to pay everyone who took their own risks by being in the wrong legal status in the first place, - then very soon, taxpayers will be made to pay for lawyers to defend illegal logging, illegal settlement, illegal parking...get my drift?
Can someone give those people with the dead animals a decent talking to plse? Their actions have made Saras, my friend very agitated. Why?

In Saras ' words,
"People already say that if you so much as touch our teeshirt in a car accident - we will moan & groan until we get paid off. Or we will talk, talk & talk until you get tired & weary of us & THEN you pay us off. Now these jokers just reinforced that stupid sterotype!"

Which is why I will never be a politician. Too honest & in your face. Sure die a thousand deaths before I can even smell that Camry.
I think I will get Saras to meet those illegal cow & goat herds. She is pretty impressible when she gets going.

And now on another nearly holycow !!! issue (apologies to daisy in the photo above)

Has anyone wondered why, these days since the Rose became the country's 1st Madam is it that we see her adnauseum in the papers on a daily basis? I was told "reliably" by an aunty source that the media has been ORDERED to cover stories of the 1st mdm on a daily basis or........????

You woulda thought that she was the PeeEm or that she was elected in as PeeEm. Sheeesh!
Our country is already a nation of world class apple polishers; but ain't that a bit too BRAZEN?

What am I saying?
WE don't even get to elect our PeeEm (entirely up to the wisdom of the Ruling Party who elects their head etc & so forth).

Didn't someone say that every cow will also have their day?

Saturday, 19 September 2009

Selamat Hari Raya

Greetings Earthlings!!
The nearly missing one here!

Firstly, to my muslim brothers & sisters, a "Selamat Hari Raya!"! Can you all hear me singing "selamat, selamat, selamat hari raya" to you?? Sorry am a day late....but I am still celebrating Raya - here & NOW!

To update youseall as to why Aunty has been MIA.

We just got back from a week of lovely LOVEEEELY time in Lombok.
Yeah. Eat your hearts out. We likee Lombok. Lombok is BETTER than Bali without the million tourists - especially if you go after high season (ie April to Aug?)

I lurved the chillies (I will dedicate a whole book to its hotness on the richter scale), the people, the place (Divine). the clean, fresh, salty air, the Oxtail Soup (Sup Buntut) - which should definitely be on any menus for inmates on death's row for last meal on earth.

I especially wanna thank the Gus & the lovely Serena who took so much time & trouble to haul all of us 6 gawking tourists around the place

We also loooked at the real estate, which to tell the truth - I would relocate to Lombok in a heartbeat -
IF I was allowed to hold my own land titles,
IF the medical facilities gets up to speed (we are talking of us, dem old peoples who are scared of dying),
IF the internet would work - at all or faster.

Heck. If they can grant me all that in Lombok, then I wouldn't even mind the daily black outs for some tens of minutes.

OR that little matter of their little active volcano there (Rinjani) because there's nothing like a little volcano erupting to put things into perspective. The beach sands on Lombok are all fine & BLACK. SOLID BLACK. VOLCANIC BLACK! D'you get the pix of how active the volcanoes then & now is? Hmmm?

It rained very little everyday there - just enough to freshen the nice clean air there.

AND....This is "the important Aunty news, we met a HANDSOME distinguished world championship dance judge & famous dancer himself by the name of Marcel from Netherlands there.
(Notice that operative word "we" or M woulda been in mortal danger otherwise!)

Although Marcel is 62 yrs old, he's the type of man ladies from the ages of 16 to 85 would suck their bellies in for whenever they see him coming.

I should know. My belly button is still missing from all that suckin' in.

BTW - if you ladies out there's interested, M is available & owns several properties in Lombok.
Are we going back soon? Well....NOT too soon. As if to confirm the fears of her paranoidness - a mere 2 days after we left Lombok (it faces Bali & we were physically facing Bali everyday we were in Lombok), that we are Shocked to hear that an earthquake of 5.9 on the R-scale hit Denpasar.

SIGH! Marcel is gonna be safe for now.

Wednesday, 2 September 2009

In this together, Hold your Head Up high

The report of the 17 yr old girl not allowed to participate in her school leaving exams because she had no birth certificate although she was born in Malaysia - filled me with sorrow.

She is just like her parents who too had no birth certificates. In the photo the girl's head was hanging mournfully down & she looked ashamed.

Why didn't her parents have birth certificates? Their parents did not register them at birth. Which is why this poor girl too had no birth certs.

I really don't think race had any issue to do with this although they happen to be Indian.

I also don't think race had any issue to do with anyone who had spent less than 10 yrs in this country who can become citizens too.
There just seems to be some loopholes in our system.

Maybe tens of thousands, and hundreds of thousands of loopholes if we go back years. It is just a mere coincidence this girl & her family were no part of any loopholes.

So I say to her. Hold your head up. You do not have to feel shame. It is us who have to feel shame for letting you down.

Another head down
The cow's head incidence. Enough has been said about it but it does not mean anyone can understand why it happened.

Logically speaking, even as I write, countless cows are being slaughtered as meat for our tables, and therefore as many cow heads are being unceremoniosly dumped.

But logic does not give anyone the right to drag a cow's head around the place as a threat or offence in a religious context.
I asked myself.
What if my neighbours had committed this insane act. Would I denounce them? Hard question. I may say I will but I won't. We are just not a nation of Squealers

The 2 Hindu ladies I see regularly asked me in petrified voices what will happen to them when this type of incidence is allowed to happen.

I told them nothing will happen to them because we are all Malaysians, and they are all Malaysians.

There will always be good people for every idiot & here we have 1000 good people to 1 idiot.

I said all that with such great conviction that I felt like a politician speaking at a rally.

Cold comfort Dear Friends. Where is their party representative in this fiasco. Did they say something to comfort these ladies.

Yes. I understand. Saying something will offend others, saying nothing will offend your own.

I couldn't say nothing.

I am supposed to be their friend. I am supposed to be "well" read. I am supposed to hold their fears in check.

I hope what I told them is not just rhetorics but the truth.

I hold my head up as a Malaysian as I know they should too. After all we are in this together.

Friday, 28 August 2009

No Questioning Allowed: Citizenship in Malaysia

Aunties just ain't savvy. That's a fact. When we talk, it's about food, illnesses & diseases, children or baking & line dancing. Sometimes we add in herbal supplements as a side topic.

And some of the other times (RARE!) we find ourselves talking about what we read. That's when we either hush up or shut up.

I dunno what we think can happen to us if the table next to us full of more aunties & uncles can hear us

But I think, silently, lurking beneath us is the dread (or threat?) of thinking that, at any time our status of living in this country can be taken away for saying something wrong.

Nay. Not just talking, but even THINKING about something is wrong.

52 years of independence & we are still thinking this way & some are still behaving that way.

Go figure how many more years of independence we will need before we can be open.

So, this morning, after slurping down her noodles, Aunty Lucy suddenly said, "Eh. Why only 10% non-Malays got called up for citizenship interviews ah? I didn't know Malays also needed an interview to get papers? I thought they sure auto get citizenship? "

The silence was deafening, even in our crowded kopi shop.

We know what she's saying.
We know how it is.

Several of us have families or know of Malaysian ladies who are married to well qualified & educated foreigners who are not allowed to live here long term nor earn a living in their specialised field - much as they would love to.

The only way foreign men can get to live here is to get a 1 yr visa (on a spouse dependency pass), set up their own company. Or starting from this year, EVEN get the Malaysia My 2rd Home Visa.

OK. They can also try their luck by being hired by an employer who's willing to jump through hoops to get them a job visa.

Those with foreign wives seems to have an "easier" time (ie they get 5 yrs visa).

I dunno why there's this double standard. Must be in the old days, Malaysian women were indeed naive. That policy then was to "protect"our maidens from unscrupulous foreign men taking advantage of them.

The double tragedy is even NOW, the same Malaysian women are subject to prejudice in their husband's country because THAT country thinks they've probably married their countrymen for their citizenship papers too!

Aiyoh. I should know. I am one such person.
(In reality we see more dungu-fied Malaysian men taken in by foreign women, but that's another story)

Now the problem with telling Aunties "Not to.." is like telling them to do something.

Tell them go East, they go West.
Tell them cook fish, they cook chicken.

"Lucy! Change subject! We have been warned NOT to question this by the Ministry" (I think should be Home Minister)

I don't want Lucy to think this is yet another case of Arrogance from our Government but I KNOW - so long as the Home Minister tells us what to do, we should do so.

After all none of us at the table want to balik ke-India or Cina - the word balik being an oxymoron here as none of us have ever lived in, nor was born in those countries.

Aunty L pipes up 1 last time before we can aiyoh her away.
"But we all know what! Malay foreigners also don't need to go for interview will automatically get papers what!"

Sheesh. What DO we do with Aunty Lucy? Short of gagging her at tomorrow's breakfast.