Monday, 5 January 2009

Aunty for Parliament?

If you know me, you would know that I am always looking at & for angles to stay afloat.

I dunno why but I DO worry. In fact the more I worry, the more I should worry about staying afloat because then I go shopping to alleviate my worries. Typical Female. Ye..ap.

Now, what with all the uncertainty in today's (& the next few years) of the global recession & maybe even depression (ptui on that!)

Coupled with the high unemployment rate, & not forgetting I am no longer very employable, I have been looking at some recession proof sources of generating income.

Making & Selling food? Direct selling? Tour guiding? Dog training? Housekeeping? Aiyoh. All these jobs are very recession prone plus they require actual hard work.

So I hit on the idea of being a Politician. Parliamentarian?

Ya. Yah. I know. That's also hard work.

But that seems like the only job I know where PERHAPS I can have a very valid excuse to get out of the house, have my internet paid for, while continuing to knit, take a nap, cruise the net on my prepaid Blackberry, plus drink free kopi & eat free kueh.

I also like chatting, & wasting people's time - so basically I think I am suited to be a Parliamentarian. Ya.

But before you all go voting for me, I have some Qs I would like answered. Can you help me out?

Q 1. How many toilets are in Parliament for females?
I hear there are pathetic few toilets for females & if you know women, we will miss all our sittings in Parliament if we were to wait for each other to use the toilet. Also we need to go in pairs & that would take 2x the time

Q2. Are blow pipes with arrows tipped with sedatives (organic lah..I am quite green) allowed at meetings & Parliament sittings?

Q2 is linked to Q3 & Q4.

Q3. Is one liable for prosecution, if, say, one sedates some other asinine parliamentarians?
Because there should be some law stated somewhere that says MPs found purposefully & maliciously hampering the due & fair course of justice, productivity, & religious & racial harmony should be sedated for the entire duration of Parliament sitting.

OK. Some hardly need any sedatives to be sedate. In fact some are hardly there. But let's face it. There should not be more than 1 asinine fool at any time allowed at any one sitting. No?

Q4. Is one allowed to be paid for blowing arrows?
If so, I would like to start taking reservations immediately. That would be better biz than direct selling.

I will do my price list later but shooting Bung with the sedative would be my first charitable act for women & the public. But if you know his mouth, he would say I was blowing him (blow pipe?).

Whatever. So long as trash's put out, it's OUT.

And lastly but not at all unimportant to me
Q5. Who's the caterer at Parliament?
Because if they need one, I know people who can do the job. wink wink

And yes. I am the one on the far right of the photo

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

My suggestion is for you to stay where you are. no needs no worry.

GobloKing said...

yeah you are right. I may well stay where I am. The commute on MRR2 is a killer to get to Parliament.

BUT BUT BUT!!! I still wanna be MP If some bungs can get elected in; why not an old fuddy duddy Aunty?

at least I am sure to do less PR damage. Or are you another of those aunty bashers?
mwahhh!!!

svllee said...

How about forming your own party?! We definitely need a new party with real policies...

GobloKing said...

stevie!
with my looks (refresh yr memory & look @ the lady on the far right) AND yr LOOKS (KILLER!) - we will get all the aunty votes. WINNING FORMULA. you are right!

us aunties dont like competition in the looks department but is sure ok when those around them velly velly cute!

seriously though. we should come out with an alternative party ! More on that in another post.

Happy new year to you & Juanito - aunty's sweethearts!

masterwordsmith said...

Gobloking,

This post of yours is a real riot!! Sadly, I read it at past midnight and did not have the liberty to laugh...Besides your previous post on Sophia made me cry so I was not at top form to giggle as much as I would have loved to.

Your tongue-in-cheek humor brings to reality the tidak-apa-ness of professional MPs who are there in Parliament on a self-glorification campaign with no conscience to keep to the promises they made to their constituency and this is the way to go - downhill all the way in Jack and Jill style if people do not stand up for their rights to be counted and allow themselves to be bulldozed into doing what they are told to do and not what they know they should do - all because they think one small voice will not make a difference.

Frankly and sincerely, Gobloking - YOU WOULD MAKE A FANTASTIC MP and would make many s*** in their pants!!

Come back to Malaysia one day and stand for election. I will help to campaign for you and I am saying this sincerely with no sarcasm. Malaysia needs people like you who are as rare as the dinosaurs!

Take care!

hugs and lots of love to you and happy new year too albeit a late greeting....

GobloKing said...

Oh yes Masterword!
My friendly astrologer did say in the next few yrs, I would get a 2rd career (or is it the 6th? changed jobs so many times cv looks like a quilt)

But u know lah, us old ladies need many xx/day washroom breaks...so those long sitings & limited toilets for ladies is a deterent!
LOL

BTW come back to Msia? I have NEVER left my country. Remind me to teach u to reroute yr trace!