Sunday, 11 October 2009

The new MCA lineup

I am chuffed to learn that some folks took to heart that salted fish should not be resuscitated.

And by the way, my photo came from Niamah (Patrick Teo)'s posting of a new comedy show prophetically named MACC, premiering Oct 17. About a bunch of chinamen politicans & their party I bet!

Now I dunno if Pat Teoh is psychic-aler than Aunty here or maybe because he has better guppies at crystal balling than my dead ones? But WOWZA..how accurate & timely can you get man?!

Now. What does the no-confidence vote in Ong's leadership portends for us ordinary folks?

And what does the restore-membership-to HumsupChua but deny him his VP-ness mean?

Speaking from my (well-fed/watered) gut I feel today's fiasco shows the real deep rifts & frustrations in the Malaysian Chinese Association about their political direction.

No shit!? Did I not tell you I am psychic?

AND it shows it is about brudy time that Malaysia should stop having only Chinese or Indian or any race centric parties anymore.

Am I bothered that MCA have no heads or that MIC is split about 3-ways down the middle? Do I sound bothered?

Had there been no other alternative parties, then maybe I am gonna think "AIYOH! Who is gonna speak up for me anymore?"

But this ain't 1960 and its been a damn long time since MCA has been speaking up for anyone other than themselves.

In fact, if they had fallen into a hole, I couldn't be bothered. And I don't think I am alone. Look at the last elections & the whoppin' they got.

If they are still deluding themselves into thinking that they are representing the Chinese here, I've got news for all dem boys & gals in MCA.

Honey. Just drive your Benzes, & live in your Mcmansions & leave us folks alone!

Thursday, 8 October 2009

Resuscitating the Salted Fish

Gawd knows why October always turns out to be so eventful.

If not for the dreaded historical black October (stock market), then this October saw all those recent devastating disasters, & now here in Bolehland, the deluge of critical decisions to be made this weekend. And we are only into the 2rd week of October!

This weekend is particularly exciting for me. It looks like the by-election in Bagan Pinang & the 2 EGMs may be a case of resuscitating a salted fish. As we all know, before we salt dem fish, they are dead as dead can be. So resuscitating them is a tall order.

But all I am asking for is that the salted fish stay nice & salted before I goreng it to eat with my porridge.
And really. Is it worth bringing back the dead in most cases?
Whether its Bagan Pinang's by-election or the EGM for MCA & my alumni.

On BP, my bet is not on the ISAlted fish. Reason: People ain't as duh as we look that we don't know by now, that infrastructure & donations only magically appear within a few weeks of an election.

As for MCA, again my nyet is on Chua (another Salted fish)

I can't for the life of me see how anyone can defend a serial adulterer (yes yes Chua's very efficient but then so was Bill) in leading a community.
Chua's stalwart defenders & he - for that matter - do not seem to mind alienating the votes (already precious few) of us Aunties.
I hate to remind you Dear Dr Chua, how much power us Aunties have in this world.

We may not shout that out (unlike some wives of VVIPs) but in our own way, we ARE the hand rocking the cradle, dear!

As for my alumni's EGM. Another case of some salted fish trying to come back for some quarters.
Too many poor decisions, & a certain lack of accountabilty made for stupid politiking.
I just don't know why salted fish can't just stay salted. Don't they know there's no other way for them to come back to life?

Wednesday, 7 October 2009

Is ASTRO having Malaysians on?

A small beep in the ocean to speak out against programming on Astro, our not-cheap-monopoly satelite tv in Bolehland.

I used to watch satelite or cable from Singapore, then Australia & finally South Africa REGULARLY.
As some of you know, this was as recent as March this year.

Since I have returned to KL full time, I have NOT bothered to watch Astro regularly. I only did so recently because my guppies unfortunately did not survive my crystal ball reading exercise, & because I am a little tired of a diet of only Korean soaps.
But it looks like Astro is recycling everything I used to watch from years ago. This is like "twilight zone" to me because some programs are way, WAY old!

My latest example is NBC's "The Biggest Loser" that's now on, which is from the 2006 release. That is on Primetime (ie 7 to 10pm ok?). The winner lost weight & put back weight awreddy leh!
OK. You are saying "Aunty that is caused by time diff between Malaysia & India etc"
NO NO & NO!

I catch programs as my life evolves; ie anywhere from 10am - 3am! All the programs are in a loop lah! I watch BBCE, AXN etc. So I KNOW.

Programs I have watched in under-developed countries are too new to be seen here. What a paradox!

Ofcourse you are saying, "Aunty. You get what you pay".

Ok. I take that. But did you know that in the equivalent currency (ie you use US$1 in USA the same as you use S$1 in Singapore as you use Rgt1 in M'sia etc) - I am paying the "same" rate?

No wonder some people think we are backwards.
The programs we watch are old & recycled.
The politicians we have are old & recycled.
The rhetorics? SHEESH!

I can't help but wonder why ONLY in Bolehland it is that we keep hearing the words "world class" in everything we do.

If Astro TV is an example of our "world class"-ness, then we are indeed the proverbial "katak dibawa tempurung" or "frog in a well"
And if we keep voting back in all the kataks?
Well! I guess we just deserve our tempurung ain't it?

Tuesday, 6 October 2009

Do what I say but not as I do

I know I know.

For all of us responsible elders & seniors of our families & societies - trying to teach good values, morals & judgements to our next generation, the "Do what I say & as I Do" bit is always a tough call.

As time goes by, (with me it takes no time at all) this call becomes "Do what I say & NOT as I do" It just ain't natural to not be yourself for too long.

Take a certain VVIP yesterday speaking to his party faithfuls at the Bagan Pinang by elections for instance.

He was warning ppl against using race politics.

I agree with him.

We, the average Aunties & Uncles of this world don't like race, color, gender or religion politics.

In extensive chatting over many cups of kopi-o, I know us average Paks & Maks are MUCH more tolerant, and peace loving than any politician out there.

To top it off.

COWABUNGA Politics!

This is the same guy who didn't walk his own talk...in a really memorable, memorialized speech - in order (sez he) to preserve his identity (which is part Arab) whilst waving something really pointy & sharp.

I was googling the word "waving the keris" & the search popped out over 32,000 references to it & all towards that one VVIP.

Moral of the Story: Don't Preach Bro, when you can't follow your own Sermons

Sunday, 4 October 2009

Auny's crystal ball reading on the Bagan Penang Results

Aunty is much more talented than you think.

I am psychic.. and have been for more years than I have been alive.
I used to read tea leaves & coffee cups until tea bags & instant coffee was invented.

But today I decided to pick up again on a latent talent I hardly use. This is because when I use it, 188% of the time, I am right. Ask Unc. He will tell you I am always right.

Which is why I picked up my "crystal ball" this morning for a read.

Yeap. You guessed it. It was also time the guppies had their bowl cleaned anyways.

Makes it as good a time as any for Aunty to read into the future to predict the Bagan Penang by-elections in a week's time.

Hah? Why didn't I go with the Blue Team to PD?
Main pressing reasons being my (very) aged mum's maid was fired for dishonesty - resulting in me being on standby duties PLUS my old school's oga drew me to help in some urgent biz; from Sept until after Oct 10!

OK. Don't interrupt my interactive crystal ball gazing for a few moments will you?

Q: Who will win the BP by-elections; ISA or NOT ISA?

wait.

Wait.

WAIT.

OK. Here it is.

ISA NOT. 188% sure.

WHY? Aiyoh...hurry up with the Q&As will ya? The guppies need to go home lah!

OK.

I see some letters forming.....

P
E P
L E

R

S M A R
T A R

D A N
U

T I N K

I believe it says "People are smarter than u think" (note to self: teach guppies & bowl to spell)

Yeap. That's all for this crystal ball reading today.
Tomorrow I tell you the results of the European Cup Finals 2 years ago, & what I will be having for dinner


Which reminds me of the famous saying attributed to Abe Lincoln

"You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time."

Thursday, 1 October 2009

Earthquake scares the bejessusouttame!

I am HORRIFIED!
Absolutely Floored!
Freaked OUT!
My heart goes out to all the people in Padang & Samoa. (Note to self: Donate to Padang disaster victims!)

NO. I hadn't the faintest of idea there was one last evening. Did you??

I only woke up to the news that earth movements resulting from the Padang Sumatra quake had people evacuating from buildings not 2 minutes from us here in Kay El

This should be 6-16pm or 1816hrs local time.
What was I doing? Eating my favorite fried chicken from Village Park Nasilemak while watching yet another series on TV. If ever there was a last favorite meal...that would be one.

I don't know if I should feel happy or guilty. Like millions here I didn't even feel so much as a blip. That's a benefit of living on terra firma instead of in a hi-rise. None of my family felt anything either or they woulda called. And they too live on landed houses. Our house had not even suffered a hair line crack.

A quick call to friends this morning revealed that not even those living in buildings with 50 floors (near KLCC) felt anything either. But then I am talking to those who live on the much lower end of the 50 storey thingies.

I dunno if there are any "favorite ways to die" but a big "NOT" of mine is
- to face a 9 meters wall of water (in Samoa). Picture a 3-storey building of water?
- face a stream of fire (volcano eruption).

In a weird way I feel there is a better survival chance if one were to face an earth quake - STAND IN A DOOR FRAME or under a sturdy dining table made of solid wood. Ikea tables do not count.

I feel I have some earth quake experience - like more than I can count on 1 hand.

This was in California for the 3 years when I studied there (little earthmovements but definitely NOT pleasant!), in Africa (bigger movements but much more pleasant seeing as there were no big or high buildings near us anywhere) & about 15 years ago in Hong Kong (of all places!) with a big movement for a few seconds when I was on the 12th floor thinking I had ate something bad at lunch causing me to retch.

Yes. Earthquakes causes one to wanna throw up.

And what does one run out with in an earthquake? YES. The babies, the old folks AND the notebook computer (me!)

Forget the passport, handbag, keys!

That and the dogs. In Africa our 3 dogs were not small. Ended up with Mummy - in a superhuman effort - scooping ALL 3 weighing a total of 30kgs with a swoop. Broke my friggin' back doin' that & scared the lives out of them. Ain't never gonna do that again.

This brings me back to disasters.
A few weeks ago while contemplating our navels in Lombok, Uncle & I were discusing "what if that Mount Rajani volcano behind us decide to erupt?" Running for the mountains is not an option. Really far inland plus the mountain is where the volcano is!

Running to the ocean also bad - unless you can swim kilometers away. There was No answer.

So all I can say is I pray PRAY & PRAY that there will not be a big one - as some dumbass seismologists are predicting. Because if there is, I sure want Uncle with me, and a bowl of ice kacang. That would be my last favorite meal. And my most fav person in the world.