Monday, 28 December 2009

Of Antares, Friendship & the Rights of the Immediate Family

What a F**ked up world man!
I never thought I would be blogging about the Rights of an Immediate Family but after reading the attacks on the daughters of blogger Antares (Kit Leee) who is critically ill with Malaria by some of his friends, I just feel like screaming "ENOUGH"

I don't know Antares nor his family & friends but I know this.

A story where well meaning friends wants to step in for their ill friend, or wants to be included in decisions for the care of a friend is a story repeated several times a minute in the world everywhere.

Even more when moneys involved. Look at the case of the late Brooke Astor & her son & grandsons & friends.
Unless there is reason to suspect a friend is deliberately being deprived of the best option of the best care, friends should really not step in to intervene.

There are family matters & there ARE family matters. Unless you as the friend is footing the medical bill or is landed with caring for the patient. Even when one does end up caring for someone else who has a family & the family's buggered off, but when the family steps back in, one has to learn to zip it up.

In the end, someone like Antares has a family and they are the only ones who are entitled to an opinion or a briefing from the doctors on the best course of action to treat him.

Whatever the doctors have to say, for sure, his current wife too should be allowed the same access to this briefing, so that she too can have a say in the best course of action for her husband's treatment.

And if she is not worldly nor knowledgeable (as are most of us regular joes) & she wants his friends to help out, then she should have to be physically present to tell the first family of her wishes.

I really don't know what the world is coming to when friends rock up (yes it's a long way to go, yes you are concerned for his well being, yes you have other experienced medical doctors with you) expecting the family to cater to your expectations. Don't you guys think that's a whole lot of expectations?

So what if Antares' kids let you hear the doctor out. Then what? Would you then expect that the family defer to you for an unasked-for opinion?

And What if they don't ask you for your opinion? Then would you be angry you were not accorded any due respect?

Come ON man! In a crisis, whether it's a family or the army, someone has to take over.

The only diff is the leadership style. A leader can unite or rile but when the leader says that's the way it goes, then the followers (who must have given tacit agreement to appoint this leader) has to LET GO & Follow!

On top of this, the family of Antare - according to some accusations - were not there 24/7 when he was in ICU critically ill. SO WHAT?

You can have yr own set of rules for filial piety & others can have theirs too. Who's to say who's right or who's wrong?

I just don't get it. Why do well meaning friends & families impose their own set of expectations on to that of another person or family?

To me, the important thing is NOT the feelings of friends but that of the family & the patient. I am sure all of us wish the patient well to a speedy recovery & that the family NOT be stressed more than they already are.

NOW. That would be being a good friend.

Sunday, 27 December 2009

And what a Feast it's been!

Dear Santa in North Pole,
Turkeys & Legs of Lamb sitting in my Belly, Underarms, & Butt
& Pudding doused in Brandy

Our Turkey who art in Heaven
Tasty be thy Name
Thy Meat be Done
Our pants be undone

To say we missed our neighbour's party due to a technical problem is an understatement. We are still thinking of a nice way to say "We didn't turn up because we were really too HAPPY & wiped out somewhere else to move our Arse". That would be kamikaze neighbour style.

Yess. We had the Most Lovely Lundin yesterday. Yeah. Lundins. A Lunch which turns into Dinner. They're much better than Brunches. Ask my belly.

First off. Uncle & I want to Thank Christine Who washed up copious amounts of pots & pans in preparing the feast & to Rory who cooked a "passable" Lundin. The Turkey, Lamb & Potatoes wasn't too shabby.

Not too shabby? In Aunty Speak this translated from "Don't give me too much. I can't finish these 6 slices of turkey on my plate" into "What do you mean the turkey's finished? I only had a tiny sliver!"

What's the big deal you say? Well. No morsel of Turkey has passed these angelic lips for the past 25 years. Not since I have had to eat that sucker for a year every day in USA when I was on a tight budget & race to finish my degree sooner. I had kept to that vow until yesterday. And now no damn turkey's safe from me.

We also want to give a special big Mwahhh to Laura who became Uncle's Bestest Gal yesterday. He just loves them well brought up young ladies. Besides pouring the drinkies, Laura made sure her Da's & Uncle Bear's cups were never empty. Have I mentioned she was pouring the drinkies non-stop like a well-trained host on a 1st class flight?

We were so sated from our Lundin last night that about the only activity I could muster was to change into my draw string pants & collapse into my la-z-boy. Uncle showered & changed into his Sports Teeshirt to go to bed.

Sports Tee shirt? Yes. He was THAT gone he thought it would be a lovely time to go hit some golf balls last night. Who am I to piss on his parade?

Tuesday, 22 December 2009

For Auld Acquaintance be..

In recalling 2009, I can only say that, despite the big personal storms which tossed us around, we have learnt, in retrospect, that the sun does shine brighter after a storm.

Storm 1: My sister Shirley died in June after a short illness. Her passing came as a big shock to us, in particular her children & grandchildren. In life we could have been better friends to each other but we weren't.

The sun in my life now is that every time I interact with her grandkids, I see the good that was my sister shining through in the children she had loved so much.

Storm 2: The 1st quarter of this year seemed like an eternity in Madagascar while the 2rd to 3rd quarter was waiting to exhale.
Ofcourse you now know that at the height of Madagascar's troubles, we were caught there in limbo, rumors, gun fire & intimidation.

I lost much sleep & some weight worrying over our safety & yet not being able to leave due to Uncle's sense of duty to his staff. Yes. You heard right. He stayed from a sense of duty to his staff & not his bosses.

And we were lucky we left Madagascar when we did because had we left earlier as per our scheduled trip, we would surely have gone back & then been caught in the mud & murkyness of an unlawful coupe d'etat.

But that was not my sun shining through.

My sun shining through is to see my husband of 22 years come through the ordeal so well despite losing his job at this stage of our life.

He's trim, fit, healthy & optimistic. He's quit smoking after 30years, drinks very occasionally & takes pride in gardening; a skill neither of us knew he had.

He wants to work again, but is not unhappy he has time to smell the roses. He even takes time to chat with me, a luxury for a double-career couple who thought chatting was reserved only for when we had to face each other when we were on holiday.

Now he knows I am a TV addict & media whore, & I know he doesn't necessarily turn off the taps after washing his hands or screw back the cover off the Coffee Jar.

And NO, I wouldn't exchange Uncle for all the screwed jars in a supermarket.

Happy Xmas to 1 & All!!

Thursday, 17 December 2009

Bloggers Ethics

It's not that I am MIA...I am BUSY!
X'mas has that effect on me, and it seems - on millions of women around the world too.

If there is 1 thing the world can do for us mothers & wives is - instead of declaring only 1 measly day as "Mother's Day", it would be to get rid of all festivals so that us women folks can take a breather.

I mean, when was the last time you saw a Daddy clean the house, take out the decor, decorate, shop & cook for the entire kit & kaboodle for 1 whole month & then again undo all that AFTER the festive season? say it's worth it just to see the lovely happy smiles on the family's face? You there. You must be a bloke!

Awww.. just Forgive me plse. I am just too numb & cranky from yet another round of shopping today. But that isn't going to stop me when something JUMPS out at me in the media. With my last shopping breath, l just have to get this out.

THIS time, its that issue over "blogger ethics".

Just read today that some numbskull here in World Class Land is recommending "strongly" that bloggers should adhere to "ethics".

I dunno about you lot living in "highly developed" countries, but seems like you lot just ain't as highly developed as we are here.

Yeah! We've got ethics for bloggers to follow. What ethics? Where is it written? Who wrotteth it? And from a country who's actually fallen a few notches on the corruption index? HUGE LOL (laugh out loud lah!)

Blogger ethics? In my mind these 2 words are an F**king oxymoron. If I were paid to blog, then - and only a tiny bit MAYBE THEN, I may follow these invisible ethics.

But if you, like me (& the 99% of all bloggers out here) are basically blogging to express yourself or to let some steam out, then what's the point in blogging if we needed to adhere to ethics? Out here in bloggerland, it's Reader Beware.
Don't like my point of view? Fcuking click away then.

Or does our Power on High mean "ethics" like not exposing, mentioning or criticising the vast amount of injustice, corruption, apartheid, sexism & rot in our fair land?

Oh! WAIT! I get it now.

You mean if we are controlled, sorry. I mean if we "adhered to ethics", ie then we wouldn't be saying things are happening, and so there is no corruption, racism etc happening here?

Sure. And I was the 15th woman Tiger Woods had an affair with too.

Tuesday, 1 December 2009

Meanwhile on a World Class Banana Island

And now for what's happening on our world-class Banana Island. Yes. I have to conclude we live on a remote island.

Take this example where something so noble & worthwhile known as NATIONAL CIVICS BUREAU is not what we think it is.

The name should immediately clue you into its raison d'etre. In short, it is supposed to raise the civic conscience of our Nation; ie provide CIVICS classes. Or is it?

Yes. You were like me. You thought that the National part in its name "National Civics Bureau" implies that they are to do this all over our great land, OF & ON all the fair people who inhabits this land, for ALL the people to benefit.

As we now know. WRONG! Now we know the NCB is a misnomer for what the Bureau does.

And if not for all those damn busybodies blogging about this, then our very own NATIONAL CIVICS BUREAU will NOT need to reflect the presence of other races in their courses.

But now, unfortunately, due to the uncomfortable expose of all you busybodies, the wonderful courses must be revamped.

My question is:
What if no other races participated in attending these courses? Then, would the HUGE mistake/overlook in the courses of the NATIONAL CIVICS BUREAU be reported?

And on which remote island in the middle of the Antartic is the NATIONAL CIVICS BUREAU's office of Malaysia located that they didn't know about the presence of "other" races?

The last I checked we have far more than 3 or 4 races. And this situation has since......FOREVER.

I must hand it to the Government though. They did quite a remarkably fast turnaround to address this issue.
This morning in the NST front page, our Minister to PM's Dept, Nazri said:

"The courses conducted by the bureau are very good and it is only that the curriculum needs to be revamped"

I am now totally confused. Nazri seems to say that the Subjects (or courses) conducted are good, but only that the group of subjects (curriculum) are bad. Aunty speak now, are we saying that the cempadaks' good but the tree's bad? Or the seeds are good but the fruit's bad?

I still don't get what Nazri said. Can someone please help un-confuse me?

Just in case you thought I BS-ed you on the definitions check the below out from Cambridge Dictionary online:

curriculum (noun)
/kəˈrɪk.jʊ.ləm/ n [C] (plural curricula or curriculums)
the group of subjects studied in a school, college, etc.
the school curriculum

course (noun) (CLASSES)
/kɔːs//kɔːrs/ n
[C] a set of classes or a plan of study on a particular subject, usually resulting in an examination or qualification