Friday, 29 January 2010

A smaller bone for all

Oohh..don't I look so sorry with such a tiny fake bone? Yeah. That's how I feel after talking with Uncle. Today's 1 of those days when his Uncle-ness & I talk deep deep. Today as a treat to him after he's planted like 30 patches of grass like a maniac in our Botak garden, I let him talk. So he's decided we should talk about Stuff I generally don't like talking about.

No. Wipe that grin off your face. It's nothing to do with any bodily functions. It's about the Economy.

Yes. It's kinda tough for an Aunty-Aunty type like me to talk to someone whose Maths, & Economics is far superior to mine. On top of that, he's Piled Higher & Deeper in that area.

Although he can be rather dry & factual, it is interesting to hear his thoughts. We normally hear MY thoughts because I am vocal & verbal (how did you guess?) but even Aunty here knows that occasionally one should let the other part speak up too.

We were on the subject of the prices of cars (supposed to drop soon) & the prices of fuel (supposed to increase even sooner) while we were chomping into our cold delicious water melon tonight.

So. If the price of cars are set to go down, then sales should increase, ja?
Cheaper car? For the price of my Myvi, I can finally get a Honda Accord? YES! Fist pumpin' the Air. Ya.

Right says he. If the price of fuel were to go up, then fewer would buy cars, right? That would be better for the environment & its about time Malaysians buy fuel at non subsidised prices.

Eh...NO. It's not that we want to use fuel, it's that we NEED to use the fuel. I had to enlighthen his Unc-ness (who is quite new to this corner of our world) that unlike other parts of the world, here even the poorer of us in the middle, or lower middle class (which should account for 70% of the population) must have some sort of personal transportation in order to EARN A LIVING.


Obvious lah!

How often do you see public buses plying the burbs? In the burbs, it's far easier to spot cows jumping over the moon than it is to spot a bus. And ofcourse as we are all aware, the poorer one is, the further in the burbs one lives. WALK? In this heat? With the killer traffic & killer drivers?

I just dread that with the costs of fuel increasing, then everything else will also increase - as we have witnessed in the last round 2 years ago.

And there is also the GST (or VAT) to be imposed on the people. Wow.

Let's work how how much someone with a non-working wife & 2 kids plus 1 aging parent, 1 car & a mortgage must earn in order to sustain (key word is Sustain) a life in the burbs, says he. Out came the back of an old envelope & a pen. Here's our estimation

Monthly Fixed Costs
Mortgage: Rgt400
Annnualized Costs associated with home ownership eg insurance, land tax, assessment: Rgt 30
Car instalment : Rgt300
Electricity, phone: 60 (I assume no air conditioning)
School bus: Rgt 80 (assuming a dim witted saint who's willing to take the kids for that price)
Sub Total 1 : Rgt 840 (without putting a grain of rice into the mouth yet)

Now let's be stupid & assume this family has to eat for whatever strange reasons. I am assuming that they will never ever get sick. Like NEVER!

Food: Rgt300 (I want to shake the hands of whoever it is who's able to feed a family of 5 with that amount for a month!)
Daddy's Pocket Money (I am guessing he's also got to eat lunch some times): Rgt100
Fuel for his car: Rgt150
Sub Total 2: Rgt 550
Total: Rgt 1,390

Clothes? Medical costs? Pocket money for the family? Savings? A Maid to help out so that the wife can work? Are you kidding me? Like someone said. No time to get sick. Only time to die.
This shows that the average income a family person must earn can be no less than Rgt 2,000 per month. After his tax, his pension deduction, that would be about right. Ofcourse if you are a graduate that's not a problem after a few years of working.

I know someone who's tutoring at a local university. With a foreign degree, a dynamic personality, & a few years of working experience, he's now earning Rgt3000 a month. But this is because he's jumping through hoops to get that money, including working in another town for 4 days a week.

So how many people have a job these days?
How many people have a good job these days?
How many are not afraid of rising costs these days?
How many are feeling secure that they would never lose their job these days?

You know. I really REALLY TRULY DEEPLY Care that we will become a High Income Economy soon. But I see the realities too. You don't? When was the last time a competent Sales person served you?

MAN! In my Auntyfied opinion we are far & away from being a HIE any time soon, let alone in the twinkling of an eye of a 10 yr period.

What are you looking at me for? I wasn't the one promising you a Hi-income was I?
All I can promise you is: don't get too excited about the Ang Pow you are getting from this Aunty any time soon!

Psst. I wanted to add this postscript for those Morons vandalizing places of worship in the hope of stirring shit? Aunty would like to bless you with this: May you be infested with the fleas of a Thousand Camels Tonight!

Monday, 25 January 2010

Don't rock the boat?

I am quite sea worthy I think. Which may account for why I rock the boat occasionally. No. I really don't throw far.

However in the past week, it would seem I have rocked the boat a little too hard. Or so some concerned friends tell me. "Aren't you being a little too "bold" in your blogging?" "Don't blog about any Sultans" "Be careful you don't say anything about...."

I don't think I am bold or disrespectful. I happen to like some of our I like that lovely Kim Hyun Jung in "Boys over Flowers". And when I blog, I am only giving myself some space to vent & to think aloud. Surely one is still permitted to think aloud? Even here, right?

And aren't there people who think like I do?

If not, who & why the heckness are those people reading my inane & insane blog pieces?

I truly don't believe I am the lone crackpot in a China shop. It's just that the silent majority is truly silent because they feel they lack the gift of the gab, the pen, it just for "safety" they don't speak up?

And you know why we don't speak up, don't you?

Because we are nice, quiet, non-shit-stirring minorities. Because our mamas & our papas tell us "Don't rock the boat baby".

But why should we just continue to take the leftovers, the crumbs, the tip toeing all the time despite contributing to our nation building, our economy, our vibrant diversity of cultures?

Because we should "be grateful" we were given citizenship? Despite some of our families having lived here for well nigh over 100yrs? Oh come ON!

And if I am not going to speak up for myself, just who's going to speak up for me?

MCA? Err...and what have they done for me recently..or even...years ago?.
DAP? You mean the House of Lims?
PKR? I do like a few of them but I still can't trust Anwar Ibrahim.

Until I read Malaysia Today's article:

Read it.
This article highlighted the use of the word "tolerate" in conjunction with religion. Well! It sure helps to know I am not the only loco person out here objecting to this word.

And while I'm on a roll about words I dislike. 2 other words when its coupled to the word "Muslim" I abhor is "Moderate" & "Fanatic". Seems like there are no Moderate or fanatical Christians or Moderate & fanantical Buddhists but there are Moderate & fanatical Muslims?

What? I'm rocking the boat again? Then don't climb on aboard with me!

Friday, 22 January 2010

Aunty speaking Fluent French

I suspected I was linguistically talented but I didn't know I was so fluent in French.
When I picked up the news that now 2 prayer rooms have been attacked by arsonists in Muar, Johore, I became so fluent in French, any hardened Fishermen in Marseilles would have allowed me to join them on board with no problem.

You know how Aunty gets such a Clear Mind after er.. detoxifying in the morning?
Well. This is my post-Detox assessment on the situation.

Is this some sort of organized attack? Yes. Organized in a "guerilla warfare" way.

Are there lots of people behind this? No. Lots of people are smart. Lots of people want Peace. Lots of people will mean loose mouths to unearth these Guerillas / Gorillas.

Yes. Guerilla warfare tactics are brutal. Quick. Agile. Bite. Then Move. That's how it works.

I don't believe the desired result of our Gorillas here is to get anyone physically hurt. Ofcourse their objective is more to divide brothers against brothers, sisters against sisters. Imagine this. Muslims against Muslims. Christians against Muslims. Christians against Christians. And why not some random Buddhists thrown in? The answer is in History my friend. Read any thing on Buddhists rising up in war recently?

So when the attacks on the Churches, the Sikh Temple & a Mosque did not yield the desired result? Another round of "action" was necessary.

Would I be surprised if there would be other attacks on places of religious worship?

No. I just pray nobody are congregated in these places.

It can be seen that, so far nobody has been harmed in these attacks. So can it be that they are some sort of warped religious group who feels immoral to harm a life but yet does not feel immoral if they indirectly cause More harm; or if someone else did their killing for them caused by their tactics?

I don't put too much faith in the Police to put an end to this any time too soon. And I hardly blame them. After all who has enough tentacles to get to guerillas, let alone to pin down the Masterminds? And what if the MMs are big-time Politicians?

But this I do put Faith in.
That we as ONE MALAYSIAN, ONE RACE, ONE NATION will join Hands in Saying "NO!!!" to anyone trying to break our hands from linking with each other. As we have done for many years.

BTW. Join "Saya Anak Bangsa Malaysia" Forum this Sat 23 Jan at Chinese Assembly Hall. See this website

Thursday, 21 January 2010

"Praise the Lord!"

I'm not getting religious on you but I received this email & dunno how true it is. If it is, seems like the congregation at Metro Tabernacle Church (MTC) has every reason to Praise the Lord Indeed!

Here goes!

1) The night before the church was burned their Pastor was at the church past 11pm because he wanted to check his emails. He is a very hardworking person and has a habit of wanting to complete his work as much as possible. But he is also very sensitive to the Holy Spirit.

When he got to the church premise and was about to swipe the card to open the door, he had a terrible stomachache that he had never had before. He knew that the Lord was telling him to go back home and he obeyed and left the church premise.

It was past midnight that the church was torched. If he had not obeyed he would have been burned alive and would not be able to live to tell this wonderful testimony.. God still has work for him to do on earth. His time was not up yet.

2) MTC had trouble moving to the new premises in Batu Caves . They had been waiting for approval from the Local Authorities and is still pending.

Then they were facing financial difficulties as they needed to buy new furniture for the new premise. They had been raising funds on their own to relocate to Batu Caves but had been “stuck” due to approval permits and raising more $ to buy new furniture and equipment.

So when the church was burned it was all the old stuff that they had been wanting to get rid off! And our Govt compensated them RM500K and CIMB and many other donations started to pour in. From an adversity it turned into a blessing!

3) C, a member of MTC has been rejoicing in the office and shared with our Boss the story above. Today at our Management meeting, the Boss said "I have never seen anyone so full of joy when the church got burned down but instead she said it was a blessing."

4) C said the church leaders and members shook hands with Najib and they released forgiveness for whatever that has happened in the past.

C said Najib felt very welcomed at the church. Hishamuddin commented that during his visit he has never seen so many smiling faces when their church had just been burned down.

5) MTC had requested for the Batu Caves new church premise to be turned into a place of worship and not a commercial zone.

The Selangor Govt is looking into it and the MB, Khalid gave his assurance that he will look into it personally.
A Note to some of you Dufus wondering what's the big deal in having a Church being built instead of whatever it is Christians are using at this time
It has been years & years & years since that permits for building places of worship (like churches) are denied the permit. Christians have been resorting to using shops or commercial buildings for their worship.
6) A few years ago a visiting speaker from overseas prophesied that the MTC would be in international news. At that time the congregation thought that their Pastor would be traveling around the world to preach as he was already doing that but she said now they understood what the speaker said.

7) It was good to see many church leaders of other denominations coming together at the MTC worship service over the last few days, united and praying together.

End of Story.
And to some of you smart alecks out there. Please don't go around burnin' your old stuff & claiming it was a religious attack just because you need new furniture !

Saturday, 16 January 2010

Queasy Feeling's still there

My feeling of unease does not seem to know that I have commanded a cut off date for it to GO AWAY. I had thought that come 15th of Jan I would no longer have butterflies in my stomach, anticipating in dread for something to happen.

This is the same feeling of dread I have been having daily since early Dec. Well folks. That feeling not only has not gone away, it has gone even WORST today. And I have not eaten a bad curry either.

However for right now, I just want to get this OFF my Chest!

To ALL the MORONS who had been attacking the Mosque in Sarawak, the Churches & the Sikh Temple - Please GET THE F*** OUT of our Country.

Maybe there are places like a deserted island where you can blow yourself up but have you ever considered that in what you do, Innocent People may well get hurt ? Yeah you Dickhead. Your father, mother, spouse, children, siblings - the whole flipping platoon man!

YOU may not have good friends & close family here but I do! So if you desperately want to throw some rocks & molotov - Please just GET THE Fudge OUT of MY MALAYSIA!

Now Robert ever the pragmatic Realist - who doesn't like to mince words has only this to say "The shits' just gonna pile higher & deeper from here"


It would seem that this A word problem is not a little problem which will go away, not even in Sabah & Sarawak, no matter what Nazri has said on behalf of the government.

So what happens now?

The only thing that can happen now is for the Church to give up. After all, a Rose is still a Rose by any other name...after all surely the majority religion gets to dictate what they want?

Which reminds me. Since Jakim would like to get into the action. How about fighting for some other stuff. Like changing the day of rest from Sunday to Friday? We should follow East Coast of Malaysia on that one.

Then. What about the money we use?

Why not a kosher currency - to be handled only by kosher people?

What happens when one goes abroad & have to handle all those non-kosher foreign currencies? Yeah. Those pesky foreign countries too should follow suit.

And make it mandatory for females to cover up. I think that's a good move. After all, even France seems to be giving in on that one. And no more Astro beaming in all those morally corrupt series, movies & news.

Ooohhh! I like this one. We should only admit people into Malaysia who has consumed Hallal food in the past 48 hours. The air would be purer.

I did say this once in jest to Wanna my friend from the South of Thailand that maybe there should be an exchange program given all the trouble in the South. Muslims from Thailand's South should move South to Malaysia, & Non - Muslims from Malaysia can move to the South of Thailand. After all the weather, & coconut trees' about the same whether it's here or there.

I can survive Madagascar's troubles because that was NOT my country. Not that this is Malaysia, my beloved country, it seems like a whole new ball game to my stomach.

3 little numbers

Maz was my "member" way back when we had pigtails, & swam in the same public pool unself conscious of our bodies & the opposite sex, sewed patches on our jeans because it was groovy, & thought that boys may not be such dumb animals after all. The 3rd member is Eileen.

There we were. The microcosm of 1 Malaysia - not that we knew we were a microcosm or a politically correct entity. The Muslim, the Christian & the Confused Christian/Taoist.

"Tolerate" was a word we used on someone we thought was particularly distasteful like "Adoi! She's so mean. Just Tolerate her lah!" but never on our religion or race (whatsdat?).

Fast forward 35 yrs, & we are all same-same but different-different, as the Thais would put it. Some fat (sic), some lines, 2 Muslims, one undecided.

Yesterday I called Maz up to order a few of her delicious carrot cakes for the coming New Year.

Ofcourse we chatted & gossiped. After all, who can resist a nice yarn with an old friend?

Then I asked her what she thought of the "A" issue.
"Don't know & don't care about idiots! I don't even read about it anymore."

I told her about the report on Malaysia Insider about the sermons on Friday's mosques in Selangor asking Muslims to be united against non-Muslims using the "A" word.

Maz gave me more words of comfort & displayed more sense than our esteemed gomen did.
"Allah! I don't know why this is an issue now.

For so long this was never an issue. We all respected each other's religion & it's not like Muslims can become unMuslim because someone is using the same word when praying to their own God.

People have nothing better to do issit?. Is someone paying these gangsters to vandalize people's property?"

If at this point you are picturing Maz as someone radical & not necessarily religious?. Yes she wears jeans. Yes she leaves her head uncovered. But don't you mess with Maz's prayer times. Or her Morals & Ethics. Or her Carrot Cake.

And is this how her Muslim friends think?
"Eh. What do you mean Muslim or not Muslim? My friends can believe in the little green men lah! And my friends are not that bodoh lah!!"

You can almost hear the wink-wink in her voice. I love you Maz. The voice of Sanity, Humor & Friendship.

Wednesday, 13 January 2010

Stoppit you "naughty boys"!

I like this photo of a cow sneaking it in, or is it a bull? Or a cow being given some bull? Looks like some of us at this moment I'd say.

Bull, or screw. Here is this report about stones being thrown at a Sikh temple yesterday evening. Our MIBs (men in blue) says that it's the work of some "naughty boys".

I'm a tad puzzled.
Using which forensic method & which evidence did they find to draw this conclusion? AHAH! Yes! From noting that a sub-station nearby was also similarly stoned.
OK. And I would believe that story too except the coincidences are mighty high. Just how often do we encounter sub-stations being stoned? Or encounter sub-stations which happened to be next to a Temple being stoned?
I live not far from a sub station, and despite it being quiet there, nobody in all these 30 years has ever broken through that filmsy gate. Not even once. We should be disappointed at the level of naughty boys we get here in our neighbourhood.

But it is pretty puzzling to Aunty as to how our MIB can conclude so niftily - particularly when there were no witnesses at all, that it's the work of some naughty boys.

Heck! Why not naughty girls? I protest in this gender discrimination. Girls can be plenty naughty too Mr MIB?

And somehow I feel the term "naughty boys" has been used to set us up mentally.
For what? How about in the eventuality the naughty boys are caught & they just get a naughty little slap on the hand?

The word naughty is indeed a very interesting term to use. When we use the word "naughty" in conjunction with "boys", it is like saying these perps has a diminished responsibility to what they did.
It's like me using the word Aunty anytime I get things wrong just so you will excuse me for my idiot-ness.

And it Works! Yessir! EXCEPT.

EXCEPT destroying or damaging property is a Crime. Throwing flames, bombs & stones is a CRIME.
And these crimes has gone wa..aayyyy beyond naughtiness.
I would call that a BIG crime. A Bigger crime than singing the Negara Ku with candles in hand. MUCH FCUKING BIGGER.

So please Mr MIB.
When you catch those Morons, just hit them with a Big Stick. Because whoever did it did it with Intent, Purpose & Ill Will.

Or would you prefer me to ask them "Stoppit you naughty boys" nicely?

Monday, 11 January 2010

Twilight Zone

Today as I was in the supermarket, I was struck by how much fear I had actually internalized - due in no small part - to the incidents stirred up by "the word that can't be used".

I wasn't sure throughout my shopping trip if I should only be buying the usual weekly groceries or if I should stock up "just in case".

You know what those "just in case" stuff are, right? Torchlight, batteries, canned food, cereals, frozen veges, rice, get the drift?
I am sorry but I am a child of five-one-three (FOT)

Which brings me back to the fears that can't be said. Even in conversations with friends & family the past few days since we've returned, few have commented & even so, very little on how they feel, perhaps thinking that if they were to voice their darkest fear, that this fear would come out & bite their arse.

And which fear exactly is this?

Yeah. You guessed it. It's the fear which can't be named. The FOT fear.

I guess we're all feeling it one way or another. Yes Mr. Gomen. You heard me. I've just said it.

We (those who are not as Malaysian as those who are more Malaysian) feel that right now, right here, we do feel persecuted. Yes. Persecuted.

Persecuted because our skin is the wrong color (politically speaking)

Persecuted because our reglion is the wrong religion (politically speaking)

Persecuted because someone dare (DARE!!) demand to use words which can not & should not be used by people of the wrong color & the wrong religion.

Mr Gomen says "it's a mole hill folks. Don't be makin' a fuss now"

Mr Gomen says "you just learn to take better care of yourself now, y'hear?"

And if more trouble were to happen? WELL!
Then it has to be YOU who's inviting trouble.
And BOY! It's surely YOU who asked for it so don't blame us that we didn't warn you boy

To say this situation is bizarre is totally an understatement.

Dspite having lived in some really backward countries in my life, I hadn't realized - until now - just how much more backwards my own country has become

Man! What is more maddening for me is that we seem to be even more stodgy than stodgy old-toe-the-line-Singapore. We even seem to be worst off in terms of what we may or may not say than someone living in the reign of that madman Mugabe in Zimbabwe.

As for old Aunty here. I hear there're certain items we can't display in our cars, in case we get into trouble. Just for that, I will SURELY hang some of these controversial objects in my car tomorrow.

Yeah. Just so I can take an invisible piss at some smalldicks out there who's assaulting the minorities. And I would feel good doing that.

Just call that Aunty's way of saying "We are all born of Man, and we are all equal as Man. So take a flying leap if you think you are better than me"

And did I hear someone asking Aunty how I feel about having the Christians give up the "word that can't be said" so that peace can reign because some topics are just too sensitive & some people are more sensitive than my freshly shaved legs?

Well. That suggestion has some merits but then again, how far back against a wall is someone expected to back up against every time someone says "I am sensitive to that"?

There seems to be so many sensitive subjects over which one can't talk about anymore, that I think one day we may well wake up in Twilight Zone & find that the only un-sensitive topic we can talk about will be the weather.

Did you ask if I am saying our country's like something out of Twilight Zone?
Why did you ask? Is that a sensitive subject too?

Sunday, 10 January 2010

Who's Afraid of the Small Dick Brigade?

I don't mean to freak anyone out but I am freaking even myself out this past month.

I ain't a crystal ball reader. And no smartdick. That's not a picture of me looking at a crystal ball either.

I am merely telling you that I happen to be 1 of those you would call a "sensitive". I "feel" things.
That came out dumb but that's the dumb thing about it.

I have learnt to trust my guts better as I age. And Yeah. I do "see" & sense the other side too.

Nope. Don't do tarot cards & it's not a gift. More like a curse.

Anyhoos. At the beginning of Dec, I had such a strong sense of forboding I felt sick. The feeling was so bad, I got sick. Physically.

Told Unc there & then that something evil this way comes.

Later in the month he asked if I was referring to Mayon's imminent eruption. Nope. It felt nothing like a volcanic eruption. At least not my forboding. Not even an earthquake. Or a tsunami.

I just "knew" whatever it was, will happen between Dec & Jan 15. I also knew we (as in he+me) will be fine & if nothing happens by Jan 15? WHOOPEE DODAH DAY! I was wrong so you can shoot me.

Too soon to do the rain dance for joy. On Friday Jan 8, while still in Bangkok I received news of these cowardly attacks on the churches. On Sat Jan 9, the International Herald Tribune already had a big photo of protesters on the front page with the headline (like) "Churches attacked over use of word Allah". Is this bad news for Malaysia's investment & tourism climate? No shit Watson.

So that was the source of my ill forboding? I still don't know. It feels like it MAY be it. If it did, it still doesn't feel right on the money.
No. I never expected my forboding will turn out something like this. And 1 of the churches attacked was in our neighbourhood.

Like 99.99% of the normal Joes in Malaysia, we had never expected that this sort of utterly despicable act will happen. NEVER. Not in the Malaysia we know. Not the Malaysians we know.

More importantly I asked my guts. Will this series of bullshit stop? "No Sir" says gut.

Today on Sunday 3 more churches were attacked.
And now I will talk about these perpetrators. I will call them "smalldicks" for short.
I am fearful that these smalldicks will attack mosques just so it will look like the Christians retaliating while covertly it is their smalldick sick agenda of rallying muslims in the hope of creating an even greater divide.

I hope not. In fact I BANISH these thoughts. I am still strong in my conviction that the Malaysians I walk with in the streets here would never rise against their brothers & sisters but will instead trust the wisdom (sic) of our Leaders to take care of us (for once), while we in turn will continue to respect & care for each other.

I curse these smalldicks. May their dicks simply wither & fall off. Yes. That would make me mighty happy.

And no. I ain't very religious. Or you can say I am covering all bets in believing alittle bitsa this & alittlebitsadat. So I (unlike you) can wish just about anyone ill as much as I like! Yeah. Smalldicks. YOU.