Monday, 11 January 2010

Twilight Zone

Today as I was in the supermarket, I was struck by how much fear I had actually internalized - due in no small part - to the incidents stirred up by "the word that can't be used".

I wasn't sure throughout my shopping trip if I should only be buying the usual weekly groceries or if I should stock up "just in case".

You know what those "just in case" stuff are, right? Torchlight, batteries, canned food, cereals, frozen veges, rice, get the drift?
I am sorry but I am a child of five-one-three (FOT)

Which brings me back to the fears that can't be said. Even in conversations with friends & family the past few days since we've returned, few have commented & even so, very little on how they feel, perhaps thinking that if they were to voice their darkest fear, that this fear would come out & bite their arse.

And which fear exactly is this?

Yeah. You guessed it. It's the fear which can't be named. The FOT fear.

I guess we're all feeling it one way or another. Yes Mr. Gomen. You heard me. I've just said it.

We (those who are not as Malaysian as those who are more Malaysian) feel that right now, right here, we do feel persecuted. Yes. Persecuted.

Persecuted because our skin is the wrong color (politically speaking)

Persecuted because our reglion is the wrong religion (politically speaking)

Persecuted because someone dare (DARE!!) demand to use words which can not & should not be used by people of the wrong color & the wrong religion.

Mr Gomen says "it's a mole hill folks. Don't be makin' a fuss now"

Mr Gomen says "you just learn to take better care of yourself now, y'hear?"

And if more trouble were to happen? WELL!
Then it has to be YOU who's inviting trouble.
And BOY! It's surely YOU who asked for it so don't blame us that we didn't warn you boy

To say this situation is bizarre is totally an understatement.

Dspite having lived in some really backward countries in my life, I hadn't realized - until now - just how much more backwards my own country has become

Man! What is more maddening for me is that we seem to be even more stodgy than stodgy old-toe-the-line-Singapore. We even seem to be worst off in terms of what we may or may not say than someone living in the reign of that madman Mugabe in Zimbabwe.

As for old Aunty here. I hear there're certain items we can't display in our cars, in case we get into trouble. Just for that, I will SURELY hang some of these controversial objects in my car tomorrow.

Yeah. Just so I can take an invisible piss at some smalldicks out there who's assaulting the minorities. And I would feel good doing that.

Just call that Aunty's way of saying "We are all born of Man, and we are all equal as Man. So take a flying leap if you think you are better than me"

And did I hear someone asking Aunty how I feel about having the Christians give up the "word that can't be said" so that peace can reign because some topics are just too sensitive & some people are more sensitive than my freshly shaved legs?

Well. That suggestion has some merits but then again, how far back against a wall is someone expected to back up against every time someone says "I am sensitive to that"?

There seems to be so many sensitive subjects over which one can't talk about anymore, that I think one day we may well wake up in Twilight Zone & find that the only un-sensitive topic we can talk about will be the weather.

Did you ask if I am saying our country's like something out of Twilight Zone?
Why did you ask? Is that a sensitive subject too?

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